Johnny Taylor Returns
by GoldenWords12
Summary: It's been just under a year since Johnny left for the army. He's still training so Tee has no need to worry for his safety. Yet. But when Johnny returns to the Dumping Ground, badly injured, he is keeping a big secret and Tee is determined to find out what. (BTW the Luke in my story is neither Jody's brother or the character of Luke from Seahorse8's story Tee's Choice.)
1. 1: The Letter

The Letter

Tee heard the clatter of the letterbox and rushed to collect the post. It had been just under a year since Johnny left for the army. Rules there were strict but he had called her whenever he could, (once a week, by army rules) and he had texted too. But she hadn't heard from him for a month now, he didn't answer her texts and he didn't call her anymore. She knew his training lasted a year or so and so she had no reason to fear for his safety. Yet. But nevertheless she couldn't help get worried at this utter lack of contact. This wasn't like Johnny at all. Frankly, he was rather overprotective and a bit bossy when it came to his sister, you couldn't really blame him for that after all they'd been through together. He was her big brother and he felt the need to protect her. Johnny wouldn't do this to her, leave her worrying, not without good reason. She searched through the pile of envelopes; two bills for Mike, some random leaflet on fostering (Who puts that through the door of a kids care home?) some window cleaners card, Carmen's magazine, a pizza menu and an envelope with the army emblem. It was addressed to Michael Milligan, May-Li Wang and Theresa Taylor. She sucked in a breath, that wasn't Johnny's handwriting and besides, he never called her Theresa.

Jonathan and Theresa were names they left behind long ago and though Johnny and Tee weren't really that different it felt better to be called the names they chose. At least they had chosen that one specific thing. They never chose for their mother to fall in love with Keith, they never chose to be abused and dumped here, they never even chose what they had for dinner or what to watch on TV because when they are so many people all wanting different things, not everyone can have what they want. Unfortunately it usually ended up being the Taylors.

Before Tee could open the letter it was snatched out her hand. "Ooh, what's this? Looks important." The owner of the voice was Jody. She examined the envelope and laughed. "Theresa! Theresa Taylor! That's almost as good as when we found out Elektra's name was Mandy Perkins!" Jody ran off into the living room and jumped onto the sofa, Tee screaming: "Jody Jackson you give that back right now! You hear me? That's mine!" Jody examined the envelope again.

"No it's not, it's addressed to 'Michael Milligan, May-Li Wang and Theresa Taylor!'" Laughed Jody putting on a ridiculous posh voice when she read out the names. "Either way, it's addressed to me! Jody, just let me have it." Tee begged. When the girl refused Tee said: "I'll buy you a bar of chocolate, a really big one."

"Ok, but I get to read it first!"

"Jody," whined Tee but it was too late, Jody was already opening the letter. Tee became aware that most of the others were in the living room, laughing at her situation. Jody read through the letter and jumped off the sofa. Her face changed to deadly serious and she looked Tee straight in the eyes.

"Johnny's been shot."


	2. 2: The Return

The Return

Tee's POV

Over the next few days I read the letter over and over again. No matter how many times I read it I still can't quite believe my eyes.

 _Dear Mr Milligan/Miss Wang/Miss Taylor_

 _I am sorry to inform you that Johnathan Taylor has been badly injured. He is currently staying in the medical care section of the training facility but will soon be transferred to a hospital near you, and later back to Ashdene Ridge as he will need somewhere safe to stay until he recovers. Of course we understand that as he is now sixteen years of age he is out of the care system but we also know that you are obliged to accept him back into Ashdene Ridge as he has no other place to stay. His injuries consist of a bullet wound to the left shoulder a deep gash to his lower right leg and severe bruising of the ribs chest and head. He is expected to make a full recovery and will be released from hospital on the 14th._

 _Yours Sincerely,_

 _Sergeant Grant Evans_

It's notjustthat I don't want to believe it, I can't actually believe it. The casual way this guy just writes a letter and doesn't even bother to tell us. But this letter was sent weeks ago and the 14th is today. I'm almost glad Johnny got injured, if it means I get to see him again. As soon as I think it I regret it. How could you be so horrible? Mike has gone to pick up Johnny from the hospital and the rest of us sit here waiting. Not daring to imagine what state he's in. Whatever happened it can't have been an accident. I know they train to use guns in the army but you can't accidentally shoot someone and they would have been lots of safety procedures in place to stop it from happening. To the tell the truth I'm curious. Just like everyone else, but I wont ask him what happened because he'll tell me if he wants. I'm jerked out of my thoughts by the noise of keys turning in a lock and I rush out to see Mike holding the door for Johnny, who's on crutches. I can't help but notice that every time he swings them forward he grimaces. I look at him and he looks different. He's a little taller and more muscular but much thinner too, so thin his clothes hang noticeably loose around him. He has a few bruises on his cheek and it's obvious his nose was broken. I look into his eyes and see I kind of knowing sadness and pain. I give a muffled cry and hug him, and even though I do it as gently as possible he still winces. "Let's get you sat down," says Mike and I walk with them to the living room. As soon as he sits down he lets out a little gasp of relief which he tries to hide. "God, you look awful," says Carmen and Johnny laughs slightly before grimacing again. Mike walks off to prepare dinner and May-Li gives Johnny a smile before going to help.

"Couldn't keep away could you?" Says Bailey. "What happened they kick you out?" I glare at him, he really can't help himself can he? It's like he and Johnny are born to hate each other. He carries on, ignoring the glares he gets. "I bet all you got was a little scratch and a couple of bruises, you're so weak it wouldn't even take that to put you in hospital." He rests his hand on Johnny's shoulder, leaning against it. Johnny cries out in pain. "Oh, boohoo, have you got an ickle little scratch there-" he's cut off by Johnny whose voice is so quiet and calm its terrifying. "Shut. Up." He says. Bailey shuts up and walks away. "So what happened?" Says Carmen trying to break the awkward silence. Johnny stares at her. "I don't want to talk about it." He says in that say calm quiet voice. She shuts up too. "Right, who wants some dinner?" Says Mike, walking in.

At dinner Johnny is just as quiet and uncooperative, I can tell he is bracing himself for more questions. Sure enough, Floss asks: "Can we see it?" The whole table falls silent. Johnny stares at her, but more gently. If anything he looks slightly confused. "See what? Oh, right, my shoulder?" Floss nods. "Sure, if you want. But not right now." Then he gives a little cry and turns to Bailey, "Seventeen stitches," he says. Bailey looks confused. "What?" He looks down at his plate sheepishly. "What'd you kick me for?" Says Johnny and that same scary calmness is in his voice. Bailey shrugs. "Ok," says Johnny. "But can you please not do it again." Suddenly I realise what he meant by seventeen stitches. "Seventeen stiches? The gash in your leg needed seventeen stitches?" I ask incredulously. He nods. The questions he was bracing for earlier come out in a rush from nearly everyone at the table and he stays silent. The others realise that asking him about it is probably a really bad idea. Only Mo actually dares to ask him one after everyone falls silent. "Did anyone else get hurt?" He asks innocently. Perhaps it is the fact Mo,out of everyone dares, perhaps he just feels the need to get it off his chest. But he answers, slowly, quietly, his voice slightly strained as if he's in pain. "Yeah, another recruit. My age. Tommy Drew, he was from a care home as well. We got on really well, we kinda became best friends," he pauses for a long time and looks down at the table.

"And then I watched him die."


	3. 3: Revelations

3: Revelations

I gasp in horror and my heart skips a beat. "Oh God, Johnny, I didn't realise-" babbles Carmen. Nobody dares ask anymore questions after that. I realise all that pain and sadness in his eyes is from that. I can't imagine watching a stranger die, let alone my best friend. I remember the day we were put into care, Keith hurt Johnny so badly I thought he was dead. I remember thinking it was all my fault because I spilt that drink on Keith's new jacket, all Johnny was trying to do was protect me, he shut me in my room to stop Keith hurting me and then Keith took it out on him. I remember the guilt and realise that's what Johnny must be feeling only a thousand times worse. I've heard that when people survive accidents and other people die they often feel guilty that they're not dead too. Survivors guilt.

After dinner we sit in the living room. Johnny hasn't said anything since he answered Mo's question. Kazima is teaching Harry how to play pool whilst Bailey watches, Jody and Tyler are whispering on the sofa, Carmen's painting Billie and Toni's nails, Floss is drawing, Mo is making something with his 'treasure', Ryan leans against the book shelf and Finn is on the computer. Me and Johnny sit in silence, at some point he falls asleep only to wake up again with a small cry. He relaxes again and hugs me tight, even though it must hurt him. May-Li comes in and sees us all, she must decide we're looking a bit miserable and turns on the TV. It's the news.

"Two young army recruits Thomas Drew and Johnathan Taylor have been attacked-" the whole room turns to stare at Johnny and May-Li goes to change channels but Johnny speaks up. "No. Watch." We all look back at the TV. The woman continues. "-by three further recruits, yet to be named. Security footage shows Johnathan Taylor, age 16 dragged from his dormitory into the hallway." It then shows some footage of Johnny in the hallway. There is one person in front of him and two behind. One of the people behind him takes out what must be a knife and dig it into the back of Johnny's leg, who then drops to his knees. The figure in front presses a gun to Johnny's head, but Johnny grabs it and lifts it upward, no shot is fired though. One of the people behind hits Johnny in the back of the head with his gun and Johnny falls to the floor. All three begin to kick and hit him with their guns. The footage cuts off and the woman begins to talk once more. "Johnathan Taylor was severely injured and was in a coma for three weeks, however Thomas Drew has unfortunately been reported dead, with several bullet wounds to the stomach. The three recruits who committed this crime have been suspended from the army and have a short prison sentence. No one knows why Drew and Taylor were attacked but some believe it may be due to the fact that they both came from children's care homes. Full footage is available on our website."

Everyone turns to look at Johnny again. Floss took that inconvenient moment to ask. "Can I see it now?" Johnny looked rather taken aback.

"I suppose now is as good a time as any," he slowly, gently takes off his shirt to reveal a mess of bruises, his chest and stomach are practically black and blue. He is much more muscular than before but he is so thin. I mean you can see now just how thin he is, you can clearly see every one his ribs and they are bruised pretty badly too. His shoulder is nothing in comparison but I can tell the bullet hit the bone. They have had to cut it wider to remove the metal and have stitched it back together, only five stitches though. Again nothing compared to what his leg must be like. He puts his shirt back on. "Three weeks." I say, almost crying. "Those people put you in a coma for three weeks?" He nods and I actually begin to cry. "What if you never woke up?" I sob.

"But I did," he says softly and puts his arm around me. "They wouldn't have killed me anyway."

"How can you be so sure? They killed Tommy." I cry into him and I don't really know why I'm crying. He should be crying, not me. "They didn't actually mean to, he heard the commotion and came to help and then..." He trails off and I realise it's not just survivors guilt, he blames himself for Tommy's death. He looks down at me and I stop crying. "I cried too." He admits.

"Who were they?" Asks Jody

"Why'd they do it?" Asks Tyler

"How come they had bullets?" Asks Ryan

"How come it's only on the news now if it happened a month ago?" Asks Carmen

"What's your leg wound look like?" Asks Floss

"Leave him alone," says Kazima. I almost thank her. I was going to say that myself but she beat me to it. Johnny looks confused. But then he relaxes again and says, in answer to all five questions, "Not now, I just can't. Not now." He gets up and May-Li helps him to the spare staff room. It was Ryan's room until Johnny left, but not anymore; and as it's the only bedroom on the ground floor and no one fancies Johnny's chances of getting upstairs that's where he'll be staying. Ryan now sleeps in Johnny's old room. I can't imagine Johnny has slept much since those idiots attacked him and even if he did I bet he had nightmares. I still have nightmares about Keith and that all happened ten years ago. This happened only a month ago, he must be in such agony, not just from his wounds but from what he saw, felt, heard. He hasn't gone into detail about what happened so it must be awful. That news woman said there was full footage on their website. I bet the others have watched it. I'm about to watch it, when I abruptly change my mind. If Johnny wants me to know he'll tell me. Besides I don't think I can bear to watch him get beaten, shot and stabbed. It's hard enough seeing him now.


	4. 4: Nightmares

4: Nightmares

Johnny twisted and turned all night. He just couldn't sleep. He didn't really want to because then he would have to endure that night all over again. He'd had nightmares regularly before, about Keith, but this was different. It was much, much worse. When he finally fell asleep it was about 4:00am and he woke up five minutes later, shaking. He finally fell asleep around 5:30 and woke once more. This time he didn't bother trying to go back to sleep, instead he got up, got dressed and sat in the living room. Johnny turned on his phone and flicked through his photos. Ones of him and Tee and later Hope and his mum too. There were a handful of pictures of him and Tommy and one with Cathy too. She was a recruit as well, from the same care home as Tommy. Then she'd become Tommy's girlfriend, she'd be taking this as bad as Johnny. When Tee and the others got up for breakfast they found Johnny sitting on the sofa with his knees hunched up and his face buried in them. His shoulders shook slightly, like he was crying but trying to hide it. He probably was. "How long have you been sitting there?" Asked May-Li. Johnny looked up, his eyes were a bit red but other than that he was really pale. "Since about six." It was the weekend so everyone had got up later than usual. It was quarter to ten. "Have you eaten anything?" May-Li asked, Johnny shook his head. "Come have some breakfast." He shook his head again. She sighed, she knew she wouldn't get anywhere. Perhaps Mike could talk some sense into him.

Mike came in after everyone had sat down to breakfast. He saw Johnny looking at a photo of him, another boy, probably Tommy and a girl he had no name for. Mike sat down next to Johnny and they stayed in silence for a bit. "You know there's no point punishing yourself," he said gently. "I'm not. I'm just...thinking,"

"About what?"

"Tommy would've been seventeen today, but he's not because he's dead and it's all, my, fault." Just then the others came in and even Tee couldn't get him to eat. He just sat there, doing nothing. "What's up with him?" Asked Tee to Mike.

"It's Tommy's birthday, he thinks it's his fault his friend died." Sighed Mike. Tee sucked in a breath. Bailey walked over to Johnny. 'Oh God, not now,' thought Tee. He saw the photo of Tommy, Johnny and Cathy. "Who's that, girlfriend?" He asked, the others crowded round at the mention of that. Johnny shook his head. "Tommy's actually," the others went silent. Except, of course, for Bailey. "I'm surprised there were girls there," he said.

"I'm surprised there weren't that many." Johnny replied.

"Yeah, but girls are weak, everyone knows that,"

"If you said that to those girls they've kicked you halfway to Australia by now." The others laughed. Johnny looked back down at the photo. Cathy, with her blonde hair and blue eyes, her quiet demeanour, you would never expect her to be tough. But she was. Despite her lack of height she would beat even the strongest girls in hand to hand combat and her aim was amazing, she was third in the rankings of all recruits. Tommy was fourth. Johnny was first. That had surprised even himself.

The ring of the doorbell brought him to his senses. He looked up from his phone. "I'll get it," said Carmen and squealed in delight when she opened the door. She came back in with a familiar face. Lily. Lily was bombarded with hugs from pretty much everyone who knew who she was. She looked over at Johnny and smiled gently. He didn't smile back. "I heard what happened," she whispered to Tee. "Hey, guess what?" She said sitting next to Johnny. "You know those videos we made for my catering course? I brought them along." This actually got a reluctant smile from Johnny, who gave a small snort of laughter. "What the ones we did we Sapph, Frank and Elektra?" He asked, Lily nodded.

"Thought I'd make lunch, try some recipes out on you guys. How about you help, Kitchen Assistant Johnny." This appeared to be an inside joke because the two began to laugh. Soon everyone else joined in, they had no idea why. Lily took something out her bag and fiddled around with the TV. "Look, I'm so happy to see you, but why are you here?" Carmen asked Lily. "Well, I missed you all so much and Shannay's brother lives round here, we're staying for a weekend so I thought I'd pop in, see you guys." She hugged Carmen tightly. The TV began to play. "No," Johnny moaned, but he was still smiling. "Please?" This just made the others want to watch it more. By the end of all five short videos, everyone was laughing, especially since they'd just watched the bit where Sapphire cracked an egg on Johnny's head. "Remember when Tracy discovered we'd all replaced our eggs and you and Elektra wouldn't give us our money back, so we all threw the eggs and Elektra used you as a human shield." Said Tyler and they all laughed again, even the ones who hadn't been there. "You know, we had a great laugh making those videos," said Lily, now standing behind Johnny.

"Uh huh," he agreed.

"Wish we could do it all again," she continued, showing the others the egg in her hand. "Oh no you don't," said Johnny, turning around surprisingly quickly and smashing the egg in her face. Lily groaned and Johnny laughed. She flicked egg yolk at him, "Why thank you, Kitchen Assistant Lily." Lily began to laugh too but Johnny stopped abruptly. He groaned in pain. He hunched up again and fell silent. Tee found it kind of creepy how quickly his mood changed. This silence wasn't quite right. "Are you ok, Johnny?" Asked Lily. It was a pretty stupid question, all things considered. "Fine," he said and groaned again.

"I think you should go lie down," said Tee and surprisingly he nodded, grabbed his crutches and left, silently.

Tee went into his room later, to ask him if he'd like some lunch. He said no, and sensing she couldn't do anything to change his mind, she left. After a delicious lunch, (courtesy of Lily) Bailey, Tyler, Jody and Ryan went into the garden to play football. They found Johnny sitting on a bench, just staring into space. He looked up when he saw them, but remained silent. "Wanna play?" Asked Ryan.

"Yeah," said Jody. "You could hit it with your crutches," But Johnny shook his head and got up to leave. He groaned in pain but continued. His head was spinning, no, the whole garden was spinning, perhaps the whole world. His legs felt like jelly and his knees buckled beneath him. He lay, groaning for a few seconds longer, but blackness was consuming his vision and he wanted nothing more than to close his eyes. The pain that filled his body was just too much, he groaned once more-

Then all went black.

BTW there are lots of references to the five webisodes of 'The Dumping Ground: Dish Up' so watch them on the CBBC iPlayer now, if you haven't already. Disclaimer: I do not own any of this, except the plot.


	5. 5: Luke

**5: Luke**

 **Tee's POV**

I enter the kitchen just in time to see Jody run in and say: "Johnny's collapsed," she runs out again followed closely by Mike, May-Li and pretty much everyone except the twins, Harry, Floss, Mo and Finn, who are nowhere to be seen. I panic, frozen on the spot for a few moments more. Then I follow.

"What happened?" Asks Mike, kneeling beside Johnny, who's unconscious.

"Dunno," says Jody. "Found him sitting on the bench, asked him if he wanted to play football with us. He said no, got up and collapsed. He was groaning a lot though." I'm not really listening, I can feel my heart beating in my chest. Louder and louder. I'm truly scared, what if there's something really badly wrong? I realise I'm panicking and I breathe deeply, telling myself it will be all right. Johnny's eyes flutter open and he moans softly. He opens his mouth as if to say something but then closes it again. He turns his head to look at Mike and me and gives the faintest smile. Which is followed by another moan. He's struggling to keep his eyes open, Mike tells him to 'Try and stay awake,' but he starts gasping for breath, each one shallower and shorter than the one before. He grits his teeth and breathes deeply, relaxing a bit. But the gasping breaths return and his eyes slowly close as his head rolls to the side.

May-Li phones an ambulance and a paramedic soon arrives, placing an oxygen mask on Johnny, who despite being unconscious, is still struggling to breathe. Then the actual ambulance arrives and Johnny is taken to the hospital with Mike. There's only room for one and even though I'm Johnny's sister, Mike is the responsible adult and carer for him. I sit on the sofa, stunned; horrible thoughts racing through my brain. Carmen sits next to me and I lay my head on her shoulder, too shocked to cry. I realise this may be one of the last times Carmen comforts me. She'll be turning sixteen in a month or so and will have to leave. She'll probably try and live in Brighton, so she can see Lily more. She was always more Lily's friend than mine. Lily and Carmen, best of friends. I was always the third wheel. Lily sits down on my other side, having just finished a phone call with Shannay and Shannay's brother. She wants to stay longer, to support us and be with us. Perhaps she should of thought of that before she moved all the way to Brighton. "How's Jonah?" Carmen asks awkwardly.

"Yeah, he's good. He's three now, hard to believe, isn't it?" Lily replies, just as awkwardly.

"Cute, Hope's nearly two now, right?" Carmen asks, turning to me. I nod, unable to speak yet.

"Hope?" Lily asks. I nod and find my voice.

"Me and Johnny's little sister," I never told Lily. In truth I didn't really bother keeping contact, like I said always the third wheel. I would've thought Carmen told her though. Obviously not.

"Tell me everything," Lily says, so I do, about the letter I got and seeing mum again, about Hope and Johnny's outburst, about the misunderstanding where I sort of kidnapped my own sister. I even told her about the little things, like mum giving me back that stupid rabbit toy, how she said it made me feel safe. How I told her I'd never felt safe. Not there. Then Lily asked if Keith showed up. So I told her about the day before Johnny left and how he had gone to the flat, found mum with a black eye, made her leave and seen Keith off. I still don't know how he managed it. Mike then rings me to tell me Johnny's fine. I'm so relieved I almost start crying. Mike tells me it was mostly because he had no sleep last night and because he was in a lot of pain, but he has medication for it now. I finish the phone call and report to the others.

 **A few days later...**

 **Johnny's POV**

"I honestly don't know how your coping," Carmen says and I give her a strange look. It's not unlike her to speak her mind, but still, that was random. I shrug. I honestly don't know how either. I'll be fine for a few minutes and then I'll see it all happen again. I don't want to. I want to forget more than anything. But I can't. Every second I feel like breaking down, just crying and giving into the pain like I did at first. But I have to stay strong, for Tee's sake. The doorbell rings and Floss goes to get it. She comes back and stares at me for a while before saying: "It's for you Johnny," I don't hide my confusion.

"What, who?" I ask and Floss just shrugs before going to find Harry or someone. My leg has healed enough so I don't need crutches, which is a relief, although I still have a pretty big limp. So I limp to the door and see a face I never thought I was going to see again. A face I wished I never even met.

It was Luke. The guy who tried to kill me, the one who pressed the gun to my head, the one who shot Tommy; three times to the stomach, the one who _killed_ him. "What are you doing here?" I hiss. Suddenly furious at him. No one can blame me, after everything he's done. "Woah, Johnny boy, calm down, I came to finish a job, that's all." I give him a long hard glare and watch him closely.

"Get out," I finally say. "Get the hell out of here." He just laughs. So I push him hard. "I mean it, get out, right now!" My voice is rising and I realise that most of the others have followed me out of curiosity. "Oh, Johnny, you know I don't like to leave I job unfinished." He replies, an evil, twisted smirk on his face. "I know," I say. "But I don't care."

"But Johnny this ones extra special," his voice is patronising now.

"Get the hell out,"

"Come on Johnny,"

"Get out!" I yell and he pulls out his gun. I knew he had one, so I'm ready.

"I'm gonna kill you Johnny Taylor, this time for real." I glare at him, backing away slowly. Hands out in surrender.

"Coward, you could at least wait until I'm healed, but I guess you're not taking any chances, right?" He nods. "Why are you doing this, is this all because I was first in training? Coz that's a stupid reason."

"No, you took everything from me. All my family ever wanted was for me to join the army, and be the best."

 _Really, that's all?_ I think sarcastically.

"But then you can came and pushed me down to second, they were so disappointed in me, they hated me for being weak. But at the barracks it was all, poor Johnny this and wow Johnny that. Nobody cared about me, or even looked at me because you were from a stupid care home and were doing so well. So I'm gonna kill you, Johnny Taylor, I have my reasons."

"You're gonna kill me, because of that? Did you ever think why I lived, _live_ in a care home?" He shrugs. "Didn't think so. What's it feel like to know you've killed someone, Luke? I didn't kill Tommy, but everyday I wake up and I feel like it's all my fault, like I'm dying inside just a bit more everyday. What's it like to know _you_ killed him?"

This is my last chance, Luke is so unpredictable. He'll either shoot me out of anger or my words will get to him and he'll just stand there for a minute longer. I'm aware the others are watching. If he lashes out and kills me, I don't want them to see. Instead he does what I'm hoping for. His hands begin to tremble, then shake and he lowers the gun. Suddenly becoming aware there are lots of other people here, watching. I take the chance and grab the gun, twisting it out of his grip. I turn it on him, much to my own surprise. "Get out," I say, but he just laughs.

"You're not going to shoot me!" Luke laughs again.

"Oh yeah?" I say, but we both know I'm not going to. He shrugs, unarmed now and walks to the door. Tee stands far too close for my liking. She backs away as he nears, but he reaches out and grabs her wrist. "Is this one your sister?" He asks and I don't say anything. He lets go of her and lunges at me, knocking the gun to the floor. I kick it out of his reach and then suddenly he has me by the throat and is slamming me against the wall. "You know what?" Luke says. "I'm not going to kill you, _yet_. I'm going to destroy you. I'm gonna take very thing you love and make you watch as I destroy it all and then, then I will kill you." He lets go of me and walks out the door, slamming it behind him. I let myself slide to the floor and take shakey breaths. My head is pounding from where he slammed me against the wall. Tee helps me up and I hug her. She examines her wrist and I see where Luke grabbed her there is a black band, like a watch. My heart skips a beat as I realise what it is. "What is it?" Carmen asks Tee.

"I think it's a bomb," she says. She's right.


	6. 6: The Bomb

**6: The Bomb**

 **Johnny's POV**

Everyone turns to look at me. They want to know if Tee's right. The expression on my face must give it away. Panic ensues. I ignore it all and grab a biro pen. "What are you gonna do? Write on it?" Asks Bailey hysterically.

"No, defuse it." Everyone calms down and instead looks confused.

"With a pen?" Tyler says incredulously. I nod and take of the lid. I grab Tee's hand and squeeze it comfortingly. Using the pen as a screwdriver I remove the tiny screws. This isn't right. Luke knows this bomb is easily disabled, he knows that I could do it. He must of altered it in some way. "Don't move," I order as I realise what he's done. That's not the bomb. Sure enough, when I lift the unscrewed plastic up, I see no wires, but a note. **_Nice try_** **.**

 **Tee's POV**

I'm petrified.When I see the note it turns into relief then confusion. When I see Johnny's face I'm petrified again. He slowly unclasps the band on my wrist. What is he doing?! Surely that will set off the bomb? He lifts of the watch thingy and I scream in pain. He flinches. I look down at my bare wrist and see a little bit of metal buried in it. Sure that's not the bomb? "Sorry," says Johnny, yanking the metal out. Why's he sorry? Then I understand. Pain shoots through me. It's more than agony. My knees buckle and I see blackness.

I awake only seconds later to find Johnny has caught me. "Better?" He asks and I nod. I feel completely fine again. He smiles.

"So there was no bomb?" Carmen asks. It seems she's right. Johnny stares at her closely.

"There is a bomb," he says and from the way he's looking at her, I can guess where the bomb is. But it's too late.

Fire fills the room.

I wake up to ash and dust. It seems I'm the only one. I can't hear anything except from a ringing in my ears. It takes me forever, but I look around the room. There's not too much damage. Fire everywhere and the front door doesn't exist. But apart from that the house is fine. The same can't be said for the people. I cough hard. Me, Johnny and Carmen were closest to the bomb. _Carmen_. Oh god, the bomb was _on_ her. Oh God no. I crawl along the floor and hear a groan. Mike. He props himself up on his elbows and sees me. Surprisingly he actually managed to get to his feet. Around me people are waking up. Pain starts to register. Blood trickles from my nose and my shoulder burns. I cough again and my throat feels raw. Mike picks me up and carries me to the living room, laying me on the sofa. Blackness consumes me again.

I wake up to strange smells. It's the hospital. "Hello," says a nurse. I blink a couple of times to adjust to the light. Every part of me hurts. I groan. "Wha- the others, are they ok?" I say, confused. She shushes me and smiles.

"They're all fine, love." Somehow I get the feeling she'd say that even if they weren't. "You're mum's here to see you," she says and I look up. At least mum'll be honest. Hopefully. She's not the most honest person. "Mum," I say. She smiles and squeezes my hand. "Johnny, Carmen, the others, are they ok?" I say hurriedly. She smiles again as I prepare myself for the worst. "Carmen took the worst, but she'll be ok. Johnny's more worried about you. Everyone else is home already." The fact Johnny's more worried about me, means nothing. He's always more worried about me. It does mean he's conscious though. "How long have I been out?" I ask. If the others are home already it would've been some time.

"Three days,"

 **A few days later..**

The nurse was right, everyone's fine. Well, Johnny's back on crutches, which he seems to find very annoying and Carmen, she's...recovering. A broken arm and leg and some cuts, minor burns. I think she's now regretting more than ever how she treated Lily, when Lily fell off the roof all those years ago. Though luckily, we're not getting shut down this time. The house is fine and as Luke placed the bomb and attacked and threatened Johnny, the damage repair is being paid for by the council. We would be happy if it weren't for the fact we are all injured. Luke's threat keeps playing on my mind and the more I think about the more I realise I'm not safe. None of us will be safe until Luke is locked up in prison. He's not going to stop. Not even when he's locked up. Luke's not going to rest until Johnny's dead. If it's the last thing he does.

 _"You know what? I'm not going to kill you,_ yet _. I'm going to destroy you. I'm gonna take everything you love and make you watch as I destroy it all and then, then I will kill you."_


	7. 7: Killing Me Slowly

**7: Killing Me Slowly**

Johnny sighed. This was all his fault. Everything that had happened, was all his fault. Well, Luke seemed to think so and so did Carmen. She refused even to look at him and no matter how many times he apologised it didn't make a difference. So he stopped trying. Carmen wasn't the only one who was angry with him, most of the others seemed to be too. Avoiding talking him or looking him in the eyes. It was rather depressing to say the least. Only Tee, Mike and May-Li remained nice towards him, but Mike and May-Li were paid to be nice to kids and Tee was his sister. So they didn't really count. He started to believe what the others were saying. His nightmares got worse and worse until they didn't just happen when he slept or at night, but all the time during the day as well.

In truth he was scared. Luke had vowed to kill him and he'd already proved he had the bottle. But what scared Johnny the most was that he'd vowed to destroy everything he loved; that meant Tee. And not just Tee, but Hope and his mum as well. Perhaps even the Dumping Ground and everyone there. They were his family after all. Well, they might as well be. He'd spent nine years in care and seen many people come and go. He'd lost track of how many. Liam, Sapphire, Toby, Frank, Elektra, Faith and Rick were just a few he could think of. Then he'd left too and now he was back, only a year later. Nothing much had changed. But everything had. He looked down at the photo of him, Tommy and Cathy. _It's just like when anyone else left_ , he tried to convince himself. _He might not have moved onto something better, but it was next. Just try and pretend it's like when Liam left. He was Frank's best mate, brother almost, but Frank coped. Or Lily when Poppy and Rosie were fostered without her. She moved on. But she could still see them. I won't see Tommy again until I'm dead, maybe not even then_.

And with Luke's threat hanging over him, death might be seeing him soon.

 **Cathy's POV**

I can't carry on like this. Everyday, just so much pain and fear. I can't believe he's gone. The boy I grew up with. Who I spent six years in care with. The boy who was there for me no matter what. The boy I _loved_. They'd taken him, they'd taken his life. Luke Grover, Keith Sherwood and Sammy Tolkein. They'd _killed_ him. One day I'll make them pay. But not today. Life at the barracks isn't fun anymore, it's not even worth living. Not without Tommy. Or Johnny for that matter. How they expect me to carry on, I don't know. But I can't, not here anyway. I go to my bunk and shove stuff into my bag, I know where I'm going. I grab all the money I have and run. I run through the pouring rain, getting soaked to the skin, but I don't care. **I don't care**. I'm going to get answers. I want, _need_ to know how Tommy died. All I know is they killed him. Luke and his two stupid minions.

I'm going to find Johhny.

 **Back at Ashdene Ridge...**

It was late evening and pouring with rain. All the kids were in their rooms, the youngest asleep. There was a knock at the door. _Who can it possibly be at this hour?_ Thought Mike, who was on night shift. Perhaps May-Li had forgetton something. Mike opened the new front door, (the bomb had destroyed the other one) and saw a girl. She wasn't very tall but looked about 16 or 17 with very short blonde hair and crystal blue eyes. She looked tired and sad and she was soaked to the skin. Mike was surprised, he had no idea who this girl was. He was just about to ask when the girl stumbled forward and collapsed into his arms. Mike didn't know what to do, but he picked the girl up and laid her on the sofa. He took of her backpack and put some blankets over her. The kids had heard the knock at the door and were curious to see who it was, so they had creeped out their bedrooms and downstairs to see what was happening. Mike saw them, obviously, and sighed deciding to let them stay. Questions like; _Who is she?_ And _what's she doing here?_ Were asked, but Mike had no answers. Johnny stumbled in on his crutches. "What's going on-" He stopped abruptly and his face paled when he saw the girl. He muttered something under his breath. "You know her?" Asked Mike, hoping it wasn't someone else who tried to kill him. He simply stared at her, and Mike noted with some relief it was an expression of sympathy rather than fear or anger. So this girl _hadn't_ tried to kill him. "I recognise her," said Bailey and everyone turned to him, surprised. He turned to Johnny. "She was the girl in your photo, Tommy's girlfriend." Johnny winced when he said that, but nodded. He knelt down beside her. "Cathy?" He whispered. The girl stirred.

"Johnny," she murmured. "I need answers."

"I ran away from the barracks," Cathy explained later, to Johnny mostly, but the others too. "I just couldn't cope with it all, being reminded of Tommy everyday." She choked back tears. "No one told me what happened, just that you were badly hurt and Tommy was, was-" She actually cried for a bit this time before pulling herself together. "Anyway, I immediately guessed who did it. Luke bloody Grover and his cronies. They vanished and we were all told they had been suspended for crimes, but Sergeant Evans didn't say what." Tee vaguely remembered it was him who wrote the letter informing her of Johnny's return. "I know Luke hated you, but why'd he kill Tommy? And, I know Sammy and Keith are loyal to him, stupid dogs, but would they really kill for him? I need to know what happened, Johnny. It's driving me crazy and knowing Tommy's not coming back- it's killing me, slowly on the inside and not softly either." Johnny sighed and leaned back, closing his eyes for a little while. Tee was shocked to realise that one of the people who attempted to kill Johnny was called _Keith_. How ironic really. "It's killing me too," said Johnny after a long silence. "I don't know how I can go on like this, reliving it again and again. I just don't know if I'm ready to talk about it yet." Cathy sighed.

"I know, Johnny, I know this must be hell for you. It's hard for me too. And I didn't see it. But I don't think I can keep going not knowing what happened. I knew him for six years and no matter what he was there for me and now he's gone he can't do that anymore and now ones telling me _why_."

"Fine. But it's not pretty."

"Nothing ever is when it comes to Luke." Cathy half-laughed.

"Here goes." Said Johnny taking a deep breath.

So he told her how he'd been dragged from his bed, half-asleep, with utterly no idea what was going on. How Keith had dug a knife into his leg and Luke had pressed the gun to his head. And how they had hit and kicked and punched with no relief, until Tommy came. Then it got trickier, but still he carried on. He told her how, without thinking, Luke had lifted his gun and fired three times and how Tommy had dropped to the floor. Not dead yet, but dying fast. Johnny had crawled over to him while Luke stood still in shock and had just sat next to Tommy, comfortingly until he died. It was enough. He stopped and couldn't carry on with his story for a while. But then he spoke again and told how Luke had finally snapped out of it and fired again, aiming to kill. But he missed and the bullet buried itself in Johnny's shoulder and Luke had kicked Johnny in the head. He didn't remember anything after that. Not until three weeks later, when he'd woken up, completely disorientated and in a lot of pain. Then he told her about the rather unpleasant visit he had received from Luke just a few days ago and by the time he was done he looked close to breaking down completely. Cathy was crying silently and everyone else sat in shock. Tee admired her brothers ability to stay strong. If it were her she'd probably be broken beyond repair and crying her heart out right about now.

"It's killing me slowly, seeing it again, every single minute of every single day, I just don't know how long- how long I can keep going." He said and got up, walking away as quickly as he could with crutches. Trying to hide his tears. Tee understood why. He knew they wouldn't think him weak, quite the opposite. But by not showing his despair he was trying to make them think everything was fine, protect them from despairing themselves. He was always trying to protect others. Mostly his family. Mostly Tee.

As it turned out that wouldn't go so well.


	8. 8: Missing

8: Missing

As Tee walked down the road to her mums house she thought about everything that had happened. After Johnny's explanation last night everyone had become more quiet. Especially Johnny. It seemed as if actually saying it all out loud had made it seem much more real. He had really realised the gravity of the situation and now he was back to how he'd been at first: refusing to move, talk or eat. It was devastating for Tee to watch. So she decided to go and visit her mum and Hope. It was a cold, sunny morning. Clear skies and birds chirping. It was a perfect day, nothing bad could possibly happen on a day like this.

Oh, how could she be so wrong?

Tee had left for her mum at ten in the morning and said she'd be back in time for lunch. Lunchtime came and went and still no sign of Tee. No text, phone call, nothing. By four that afternoon they were getting really worried. As soon as Johnny realised Tee was missing he snapped out of his sad little world and entered one of nervous panic and fear. He hoped for the best, but he knew deep down, that the worst had happened. By half past four, Mike called the police and told them Tee was missing and so the search began. Johnny felt useless, injured and unable to help. Tee was his sister! He should be helping with the search. But no one would let him. Everyone kept telling him it would be alright, it sounded so very fake to Johnny. If what he thought had happened, had happened it definitely wasn't going to be alright. The only person who didn't falsely reassure him was Cathy. She knew as well as him that it wouldn't be. Not if Luke had her.

That was Johnny's worst nightmare and it looked like it might have come true. He seriously hoped not. There was no knowing what Luke would do to her. He didn't even want to think about it. By 9pm there was still no news. Mike sent all the kids to bed. But not one of them slept.

When they did finally fall asleep they dreamt of Luke and the bomb, Luke's threat and Tee. Their brains making up all sorts of terrible things that could've happened to her. The next morning was silent and miserable. Nobody talked. Nobody wanted to. Johnny was the worst. Tee was his sister and now she was missing. He didn't even leave his room. They tried to stay positive but everyone was fearing the worst. They couldn't help it. Then the police arrived and everyone hoped it was good news and they had found her. But they hadn't. They'd just come to question the DG about her disappearance. None of them knew anything. Then Carmen remembered something. "She went to see her mum!" She cried excitedly. Johnny's heart missed a beat. It looked like Luke had all of his family.

Johnny sat on his bed. He had no idea what to do. He was supposed to be Tee's big brother. He was supposed to look after her and protect her. He had done that all his life. And now, when it mattered most, he had failed miserably. His phone rang and he picked it up. His heart jumping when he saw the caller: Tee. He answered quickly. "Tee?" He said, hoping against hope it was her. It wasn't. It was Luke.

"Hi again, Johnny. Guessed you've noticed your sister's missing. Yes Johnny, you guessed it, we have her. And you mum and you little baby sister too." Johnny heard Hope gurgle in the background.

"Yeah?" He said more confidently than he felt. "Prove it."

"Alright I'll prove it. If you don't arrive at your mum's house before, hmm. Eight pm your sisters and your mum are goners. No tricks, no police. Just you. If I see anyone with you or any police I'll kill them and your family, understand? Good. See you later." The phone call ended and a beep signalled a text. It was a video sent from Tee's phone. It showed Tee and his mum tied to chairs and gagged. It was definitely his mums house. Hope was being held by Sammy Tolkein, while Keith Sherwood and Luke Grover held guns to Tee and Lucy's heads. "Come alone, before eight pm. Or we shoot. To kill. And if we see anyone with you. Anyone. Police or some other little care rat, we shoot. To kill. Come save your little family, Johnny boy." Luke spat at the camera. The video ended.

Johnny wordlessly yelled and punched the wall. He hadn't let his anger get control of him for a long time. He'd learnt to bottle it up and put power behind words rather than fists. In fact others seemed to find the calm quiet anger much more scary than yelling and punching. But right now he didn't care. He saw red and just needed to scream and hit something. Really hard. He breathed deeply, resting his forehead on the wall. He wouldn't give into his anger yet, or his tears. He hobbled out of his room, having difficulty holding his phone and crutches and into the living room. Everyone was just sitting around. He stood for a minute. "Are you ok?" Asked Tyler. It was a stupid question.

"They've got her, and mum and Hope." He whispered, but everyone heard.

"Who, Johnny, who?" Mike demanded. In answer Johnny held up his phone and pressed play. Everyone recognised Luke and their hearts sank.

"You can't go, they'll kill you, you know they will!" Cried Carmen.

"I don't care. I'd rather die than let Tee and Hope and mum die! Hope's only two! I'm dying anyway, up here and here." He said tapping his head and heart. "If I die at least they'll live. If I died in the first place this would never have happened! None of it! You lot wouldn't be injured and Luke wouldn't have my family, maybe Tommy'd even be alive! Sure you'd grieve, Tee especially, but you'd move on and get over it. If I was dead everyone would be safe. Everything would be so much better for you all! I don't care if I die, if it means they live." He shouted angrily and shoved past Mike, heading towards the front door.

"We're not going to let you walk to your own death!" May-Li exclaimed, trying to get him to see reason.

"You can't stop me."


	9. 9: The Rescue

**9: The Rescue**

"He's right you know, we can't stop him," Cathy said as Johnny stormed out the house, slamming the door behind him.

"We can't stop him, but we can help him." There was much protest. "Shut up!" Cathy screamed. "You're supposed to be his friends- his _family_." She looked at Bailey.

"And yes I know you hate him, but I also know you care about him, deep down. Don't tell me I have no idea what I'm talking about, I've spent six years in care! And I know that I wouldn't just sit here while my friend, _brother_ almost, is risking his life for someone he loves. He knows he _will_ die, Luke won't hesitate this time. He's giving his life for his sister, _your_ sister, while you sit here like cowards. You are cowards. You have no idea what he's been through, going through! He watched his best friend _die_. And you've spent the last few days ignoring him completely. He is falling apart and part of the reason he doesn't care if he dies is because of _you_. He wants to protect you, despite you ignoring him or being horrible to him, even though you act like you don't care! Well I know you do! He's the bravest, most selfless person I've ever met and I'm ashamed he lives with such selfish cowards! You can't stop me going with him and I can't stop you." And with that she strolled out the room and right out the house, breaking into a run. She left the door open, as if inviting the others to join her. They stood still, completely shocked. Now Cathy had gone on a suicide mission with Johnny to save Tee, Hope and Lucy from three deranged kidnappers/attackers/murderers. It didn't look good. The worst thing was: Cathy was right.

The kids of the DG had really taken Cathy and Johnny's angry speeches to heart. Johnny was prepared to die for them and his family and Cathy was prepared to die for her friend and people she barely even knew. Yet they were sitting around, waiting, waiting for people they had known half their lives to die. "She's right, what are we doing sitting around? We should help." Carmen finally said after one of the longest silences she'd ever experienced.

"Yeah, but you heard Luke, if anyone except Johnny shows up everyone dies. If we go we just guarentee their death." Bailey stated much to everyone's surprise. He got a few approving looks and a couple of doubtful ones.

"I'm calling the police," said Mike, to much protest. "I'll tell them the whole situation and they can come up with a plan." More cries of protest and a few appreciative murmurs. And so the arguement continued.

 **Lucy Taylor's House**

 **Tee's POV**

I sit in silence unable to make a noise or to move from this chair. If I try, I'm dead. If I could move and speak I'd probably be running in circles screaming my head off right now, or simply laying on the floor after fainting. That's how scared I am; for myself, for mum, for Hope. And for Johnny. Gags and knots don't prevent me from hearing or seeing. I know everything Luke's said to Johnny and vice versa. If Johnny doesn't come, I'm dead. If he turns up late, I'm dead and him too. If anyone else arrives, I'm dead. If Johnny shows up, he's dead and probably me too. I hope he has a plan, but I've been sitting here for about a day and I can't find any loop holes. Or at least none that end up with us both alive. I don't want to die. I don't want Johnny to die or anyone for that matter.

 **Johnny's POV**

Cathy soon joins me much to my surprise. "I'm not here to stop you," she says before I can open my mouth. "I'm here to help."

"How? Luke said if anyone else showed up, with or without me, he'd kill my family. How exactly are you gonna help?" It comes out more ungrateful than it was supposed to. I'm actually pretty glad she's here.

"Look, I won't let them see me, I'll just make sure Tee and that are safe. If you want me to go, I can just leave-" Cathy replies, a hint of annoyance in her voice.

"No." I blurt. "I can't do this alone." We walk in silence for a bit, only the sound of my crutches hitting the pavement. I can tell you that, at times like this, when you want to save the lives of your family and a deadline to do that, crutches are unbelievably annoying. I should be running to save Tee not limping. I kinda want to run around screaming. "You know this is suicide, right?" Cathy asks. Of course I know.

"Yeah,"

"Did you ever-"

"Once."

"When?"

"When I was six, about a year before I was put in care. Tee tried too, once. She was four, smashed a window and tried to climb out. I stopped her. I can't let her die." Cathy nods.

"No, I understand. You always took the... punishment for her. Nothing's changed. If she's in danger you'll do anything to save her, even dying. I wish I had someone who'd that for me." I nod this time. I don't care what happens to me, as long as Tee is safe. Mum and Hope too. She stops walking suddenly and I stop too. I turn around.

"Johnny, I'm scared."

"I'm scared too," I say it much calmer than I feel. I'm more than scared, I'm terrified, petrified. I'm particularly scared of dying, but if it saves Tee, I'll do it.

When we reach the house, Luke stands outside, gun in hand. "Luke!" I call from my hiding place. "Hand them over unharmed and I'll give myself up to you."

"Yeah right. Tell you what, I'll get them out here." He calls out something to the people inside and Tee, Mum and Hope are soon standing next to Luke. Hope's in Tee's arms. Guns are pointed at their heads and they are forced to walk slowly forward, towards me. Before Luke can react. I jump out and push them behind me, as Cathy drags them safely round the corner, desperately trying to stop Tee running back to me. Tee breaks free and Cathy runs after her. Finally Luke reacts, which isn't good. I hear the pop/bang/crack of a bullet fired: who has he hit? I glance behind me; Tee and Cathy stand still in shock, but there's no blood. Mum and Hope are round the corner still. He must've missed. Or not. The pain finally registers: pure agony filling my chest. I gasp and take a step backwards, placing my hand on my chest. It comes away bright red. Blood. I keep my hand pressed to my chest; it won't work, I'm going to die. But I already knew that. The pain is too much and my vision is already black around the edges. I cough once and agony slices through me. My knees buckle and I fall to the floor. Cathy kneels beside me and I find the willpower to speak. "Keep them safe, promise me." I rasp. My breathing is already becoming slow and shallow. "Promise me, Cathy." She's crying.

"I promise. Always. I'll keep them safe, no matter what." She sobs and I feel like crying too, but the tears won't come.

"Tee," I'm running out of time. Fast. Tee kneels beside me, tears streaming down her face. She holds my hand.

"Ssh, I know. Just-just don't leave me, Johnny. Don't die. I can't-" she stops and begins to cry freely. I smile and squeeze her hand. She says something else but I can't hear her anymore or feel her hand in mine. I can't breathe, I can't move. I'm terrified. Tee's blurring- I can barely see her anymore. _No, Johnny, you have to fight it-_

 **The DG, (carried on from when Mike went to call the police.)**

Mike told the police everything, but all the police did was reassure them. What was the point in that? Everyone knew not everyone would be alive. They just hoped they were wrong. They tried to carry on as normal, but what's normal? Nothing's normal if you're a care kid whose friend has been kidnapped by people who attempted to murder that friend's brother and now their brother and his best friend, who mysteriously turned up in the rain one night, have gone to save them on a what is more than likely to be a suicide mission. Nothing was really normal before that. Eventually, most of the kids decided they'd had enough of sitting around and to do something about it. What exactly, they had no idea. So Carmen, Kazima, Bailey, Ryan, Jody and Tyler set off to Lucy Taylor's house, Carmen knew the way. They were just around the corner when they saw Lucy, with Hope in her arms, standing stock still and crying. Immediately they bombarded her with questions, none of which were answered. Then they heard a strangled scream. "Johnny, Johnny!" Followed by loud sobs. Oh god. They knew that voice. It was Tee. They rounded the corner quickly and saw Tee sobbing over Johnny. He was too still. Cathy was kneeling beside him, also perfectly still, except for her breathing.

"He isn't-" Carmen began, thinking the worst and hoping she was wrong. She couldn't finish her sentence, she couldn't say that word. Neither Tee or Cathy seemed to hear.

"Johnny! Please," Tee cried.

"Tee, stop!" Cathy said sharply and Tee turned to look at her. Her face red and blotchy. She shook her head violently.

"No, don't say it, he'll be ok." She was hysterical, unable to accept the truth.

"He's gone."


	10. Chapter Nine and Three Quarters

Ok guys, this is a kinda in between chapter, that shows what happens between Chapter 9: The Rescue and Chapter 10: Wake Up. Just so you don't get confused.

Sirens blared and Cathy swore under her breath. She glanced around, but Luke and his cronies were nowhere to be seen. Darn it, they got away. "Go," said Cathy to the others. "Go on, you were NEVER here ok? You are coming here, but haven't got here yet. Tee and Lucy'll stay, and Hope of course. And me as well. But you lot gotta go alright?" So they left, not daring to disobey Cathy and trying to ignore Johnny, lying unnaturally still on the ground. Hoping against hope that it would somehow be alright.

When Cathy arrived back at the DG she was surprisingly left alone. She walked into the living room to find everyone there, sitting tense and anxious. Carmen was biting her nails and Bailey had his head in his hands. "He's alive, they brought him back. He's alive, just." She sounded half happy, half depressed. Most breathed a sigh of relief.

"And Tee, why's she not back?" Carmen asked worriedly.

"Heck, Carmen. She just saw her brother get shot, die and get brought back to life. Besides they need to check that Luke didn't do anything to her." Cathy said. Carmen nodded and got up. She left the room and walked upstairs. The other kids followed suit until only Mike, May-Li and Cathy stood in the room. Cathy turned to the adults.

"It's not good. They don't think he's ever gonna wake up, be stuck in a coma forever or you know, just, not make it. So of course if he stays in a coma they're gonna start thinking about- letting him go. If he lives that long. They gotta do some kinda operation that could be fatal, but it's definitely fatal if they don't. Man, you two, Tee and Lucy have got some tough decisions to make. I don't know... I gotta go." She turned and began to walk away. Mike looked sympathetic. May-Li looked concerned. But they just let her go and walked off to make dinner. Things might've been crazy but they couldn't starve. Something had to go on as normal.


	11. 10: Wake Up

**10: Wake Up**

"Wake up, Johnny. Please." Tee whispered more to herself than Johnny, who was lying in a hospital bed in a coma and probably couldn't hear her. But it didn't matter. As long as there was a chance he could hear her, there was a chance he could wake up. And he had to wake up. A doctor came in and told Tee to leave; visiting hours were over. She squeezed Johnny's hand before she left and she could've sworn he squeezed her hand back. But it was probably just wishful thinking.

"Hey," said Carmen as Tee walked in. Tee gave her a faint smile. "So? Any good news?" Tee shook her head and looked close to tears. Carmen hugged her. "He's gonna be alright you know. Johnny's tough, he _will_ wake up." Carmen reassured her, hoping it was true.

"It was just the same as the past month, he can't do anything. All he does is lie there and I don't know if that's going to change. At least it's not like the first few days where his heart kept stopping." Carmen couldn't really answer that. So she hugged Tee gently. She couldn't imagine what Tee was going through. Sure Johnny was her friend and she'd known him for nearly seven years, but Tee was his sister and she had watched him die. And not just once but several times. He _was_ alive-just. A bunch of machines were keeping him alive and that's not really living. It was a depressing thought.

"Lunch is ready!" called Mike and the two girls went into the kitchen.

Carrying on as normal was hard, especially since nothing was really normal to begin with. The worst thing was: Luke, Keith and Sammy had gotten away, again. They all knew that even if Johnny did wake up, it wouldn't last long. Luke would come back and try to kill Johnny again, perhaps next time he would succeed. Perhaps he already had. The police were trying everything to find Luke, trying to make sure there wasn't a next time. But they couldn't find him anywhere, it was like he was invisible. That, to say the least, wasn't good.

When Tee returned from the hospital the next day she was almost bouncing with joy. Which was saying something, as she'd just visited her comatose brother.

"What is it? What's happened?" Carmen asked, worried at first but soon realising it was something good. And good was getting rarer.

"He's waking up! They said he was going to wake up!" Now both girls were almost bouncing.

"Oh my god, that's great! Did they say when about?" Carmen said excitedly. Tee shrugged.

"Sometime in the next few days, probably." Her excitement was fading a bit now. Worry and doubt creeping in. But it was all going to be alright. Johnny was going to wake up! She couldn't let nerves get her down. Not now. She wondered what kind of state he'd be in. Last time Luke tried to kill him it was pretty bad, and that was an understament.

Johnny was beginning to feel the pain in his chest. Actually, pain wasn't a strong enough word for it. Agony. Beyond agony. He breathed deeply, but he just couldn't open his eyes. He felt heavy and as if his head was full of cotton wool. He struggled to wake up. But all of that was drowned out by the pain in his chest. Slowly, very slowly, his head began to clear and he began to become more away of his surroundings. He still couldn't open his eyes but he realised he was lying in a bed. _Am I dead?_ He wondered. It was entirely possible. But no, he wasn't dead. He was lying in a bed with crisp sheets and a scratchy blanket. He heard a very inconsistent beeping noise. _Beep. Beep-beep. Beep. Beep_. He felt someone squeeze his hand. He wondered who, but he squeezed back, which took a lot of effort, to let them know he was waking up. The hand was small and soft, a hand he knew well. Tee's hand. He gasped suddenly from pain and raised his head slightly before opening his eyes. He let his head drop back on the pillow and blinked several times to clear his foggy vision. Then he realised there wasn't just Tee, but the whole of the DG, Cathy and a large handful of doctors. They all looked concerned, relieved and excited, like they'd been waiting for this for a long time. Then it hit him that he had no idea how long he'd been out for. He didn't really care. His limbs felt stiff and weak and he could barely move. _Great. This is fun,_ he thought sarcastically. He knew the doctors were talking to him, but he couldn't really hear them and his vision was still a little foggy. He was finding breathing a little hard and missed a couple of breaths. But the doctors didn't do anything so this wasn't unusual. Apparently. A sharp rush of pain through his chest made him clench the sheets and the beeping noise began to slow down a bit. But it only lasted a second. Johnny then found the energy to speak, just one word: "Ow," and the people surrounding him gave a relieved laugh.

Johnny Taylor was awake.


	12. 11: This is Just Getting Annoying

**11: This is Just Getting Annoying**

Johnny recovered surprisingly well considering he was shot in the chest. In fact, he recovered so well he returned to the Dumping Ground after just a week. Truth to be told, he couldn't really do much. It hurt him to walk around to much or talk to much and he got tired pretty quickly; but no one cared, because he was awake and alive. After another week, he was almost back to full health. Almost. He was pretty much okay, physically by now, but mentally- well that was a different matter. Not that anyone could blame him. Watching a friend die and nearly being killed at least three times, then waking up to find you've been in a coma for a month isn't exactly good for your mental health. On a smaller note, he'd missed his seventeenth birthday, due to being in a coma, but that was only slightly depressing compared to everything else.

Also, the incredible police force had still not found Luke or Sammy or Keith at all. No sign not trace of them. Anywhere. It was like they'd disappeared off the face of the earth. But they'd be back. They all knew it. Because sooner or later Luke would find out Johnny was still alive and so, sooner or later he'd try to kill him again. Really, it was just kind of getting annoying. All of this had happened because of some stupid little reason: jealousy. But because Luke was, to say the least, kinda psychopathic, jealousy had gotten way out of hand. A little bit of jealously had gotten Tommy killed and Johnny beaten to a pulp. It had got the DG blown up. It had gotten three of the Taylor's held hostage and Johnny shot in the chest. And it was still seething, coursing through Luke's veins, while everyone else waited in fear for him to strike. Again. A little bit of jealousy had caused all this. It was sick. It was sick how greed and jealousy and the lust for greatness and respect had warped and twisted Luke's mind, until he thought of nothing more, cared for nothing more. _Became_ nothing more. It was sick how four simple wishes had turned him into what he was now. A monster. Perhaps somewhere deep down he was still human. Perhaps deep down, he still had a soul and a heart and goodness. Perhaps not. But if he did, _if he did_ , he had buried it so deep it was beyond reach. Pity.

Carmen watched as Tee and Johnny walked out the door. She wondered what it would be like to have a sibling. Someone who'd watch out for you and you for them. Someone to hug and cry into when things got tough. Someone who was always there for you and putting you first. She realised she was longing for all the things her mum had never been. Even though Mike was like a father to her, and everyone else in the Dumping Ground, he couldn't do that with all of them. Johnny and Tee were so lucky to have each other and unlike most siblings, they knew it. When Johnny had been in a coma and Tee had thought he was going to die, Carmen had really understood just how much they meant to each other and just how much it hurt for them to be torn apart. She had seen that too, when Johnny had first left. How much it hurt Tee on the inside but she tried not to let it show. But Carmen could see. As only a best friend could. Carmen had always dreamt of leaving the Dumping Ground, of travelling the world. But now reality had hit her. She knew she'd have to earn a LOT of money to travel and in the end, did she really want to? Did she really want to leave everyone here behind? When it really came to leaving, she just couldn't imagine life without the DG or anyone there. She couldn't imagine a life without Mike cooking dinner and breaking up fights or Jody and Tyler's pranks or revenge or Bailey's annoying comments or Tee. She just couldn't. Now she really understood why Sapphire kept coming back and why Lily had loved respite care and how she had left it till last minute to say she was leaving. Because in the end it was too hard to say goodbye. In truth, Carmen wasn't ready to leave, even though she was nearly sixteen. She didn't think she'd ever be ready. But ready or not she'd have to leave.

—

Before Johnny even walked out the door he knew something bad would happen. It was only a matter of time, really. He couldn't explain how he knew, he just knew. But he still went with Tee anyway, because he didn't really care anymore, and if something bad was going to happen at least he could make sure it didn't happen to Tee. Well, he hoped he could make sure. The walk to his mother's house was longer than he remembered. Maybe he was just walking slower, out of dread. Whatever happened he had to stay strong.

The bad thing happened outside a small row of shops, where a surprising amount of people were hanging around. Johnny and Tee rounded the corner on to this row of shops and saw, at the far end of the street, Luke. Of course it would be Luke. Luke walked closer and closer but Tee and Johnny just froze. They didn't move to run or to attack. A closer look at Luke made Johnny's heart skip a beat. He looked deranged. Probably because he was deranged. His eyes were wild and his smile was so fake and twisted it made Johnny want to be sick. Then Luke lunged. Straight at Johnny. Fists and feet flying, foaming slightly at the mouth like some rabid dog. He hit Johnny in the stomach and they both fell to the ground, and struggled to get to their feet. Luke threw blow after blow at Johnny who dodged them all and threw in some of his own. All the while Luke laughed crazily.

"Really, Luke? You're trying to kill me again? Didn't work before did it? Really, this whole 'trying to kill me' thing is just getting annoying." Johnny said in between dodges and dives, panting slightly. Luke just grinned. The fight was causing commotion on the street, many people were running, some were on their phones, probably calling the police. But neither Luke, Johnny or Tee noticed they were far too busy worrying. Luke was worrying he wouldn't manage to kill Johnny, Johnny was worrying that Luke would win, Tee was worrying for Johnny's safety.

"You forget why you're fighting me in the first place," Johnny said. Luke gave a strangled laugh.

"As if I'd forget," he spat.

"I could always beat you in a fight." Johnny replied and with that took Luke's legs out from under him and knocked him to the ground. But Luke had grabbed Johnny's shirt and pulled him down too and knee'd him in the chest and then both were rolling around on the floor struggling to gain control. And then Johnny was on top and Luke had pulled a gun from thin air and fighting to shoot Johnny, but Johnny was fighting back and somehow, someone's fingers found the trigger and a shot fired. Tee's heart stopped. Slowly Johnny stood up, shaking. Oblivious to the police sirens and the screaming people, he looked over at Tee and she realised, with horror, he was holding the gun.

"I killed him," Johnny stuttered, no more than a whisper.

"I killed him." His voice was full of disbelief and fear.

"Put the gun down!" Called a police man through a megaphone. But Johnny still clutched the gun and sank to his knees, still muttering 'I killed him,' over and over again in horror. He examined the gun as if considering something.

"Johnny, what are you doing?!" Shrieked Tee, tears of worry and fear rolling down her cheeks.

"Just give them the gun!" She was desperate now, as she realised exactly what he was considering. Looking calmer than she felt and walked over Johnny. The police shouted protests through their megaphone. Gently, Tee took the gun from Johnny and threw it to the policemen without a second thought, she put her hand on Johnny's shoulder. He made a strangled noise in his throat, at first Tee thought he was trying to hold back tears, like she was. That was until she saw a trickle of blood from his mouth and realised he was choking on his own blood. Then the police swarmed them.


	13. 12: Where Are You?

**12: Where Are You?**

Luke was dead. _Luke was dead._ And Johnny was... Well Tee didn't know what had happened to him. After the police had swarmed them they had taken Johnny somewhere and her somewhere else. They'd questioned her about what happened and sent her home. No sign of Johnny. Tee was pretty worried, because last time she saw him he was choking on his own blood and that was four days ago. It wasn't like she could just go off to wherever he was and drag him back. She didn't even know _where_ he was. So she just waited.

Tee waited another two days before anything happened. What did happen neither surprised her nor cheered her up. The news had got hold of the story of Luke's death and of course, since he and Johnny were all over the news at the moment no one could stop talking about it. It made Tee so angry. It seemed they now thought that Johnny was the psycho and Luke was the one who attacked in self defence. It was a big debate, even people on TV were talking about it. That's what made Tee angry- that was her big brother they were talking about, her selfless, kind, brave brother and they thought he was a murderer. Of course she knew why they'd think that; he was a 'skanky care kid' and Luke wasn't. They were even saying it was possible that Johnny had killed Tommy even though the security footage clearly showed Luke had done it. _Liars and fools,_ thought Tee _, I hate them. They'll do anything for a story, even blaming the innocent._ But Johnny wasn't that innocent, he _had_ killed Luke, though Tee wasn't quite sure he meant to. He regretted it for sure. Johnny could never do that and be _pleased_ with himself, no. Right now he'd be hating himself for what he'd done and he'd probably be hating himself for a long time _._

The next thing happened almost a week later and this time it was a good thing- sort of. Sammy and Keith had given themselves up to the police and were being questioned. But Tee still didn't know what had happened to Johnny, or whether he was still alive. She tried not to think about it. Later, on the news (which was almost always displayed on the TV now to find out what they were saying about the Johnny/Luke business) Tee heard them say about Sammy and Keith and then something about Johnny. Her ears pricked up, despite them probably just mentioning his involvement with Sanmy and Keith Tee listened intently. But no. It wasn't about Sammy and Keith anymore it was about Johnny. Over the usual chatter of the Dumping Ground she caught the words: "imprisonment" "some injuries" "previous injury reopened" and "soon to be released". Did that mean what Tee thought it did? That Johnny was being held by th police and would soon be home? And what about "previous injury reopened", that didn't sound too good. Tee didn't know. So she went to ask Mike.

Mike didn't really know either, but he was determined to find out more, so went off to do just that. Tee told Carmen what she had heard and Carmen listened and comforted in all the right ways but she didn't have any answers either. So Tee tried to put the snippets of conversation to the back of her mind and tried to have a good time with Carmen. The two girls had always been close but they were even closer now Lily had left again and 'this time for good,'. Lily and Carmen had had a massive argument about Lily 'are you staying and supporting your friends and helping them get through a rough time, just like we did for you or are you going and running off to your daddy like the selfish little coward you are!' As Carmen so nicely put it. Secretly Tee had always resented Lily for her friendship with Carmen and many people had resented her for other things; like Johnny resented her for getting fostered twice and the living with her real family. But now Lily was gone off to play happy families and wipe the Dumping Ground out of her life.

The arguement between Carmen and Lily went something like this.

Carmen: "So you're just going to leave us in this mess? With your so called best friend in a wheelchair with a broken arm and leg? Just coz you want to go and play happy families?

Lily: "No, I, it's not safe here Carmen, you can see that. I don't want to get caught up in your problems!

Carmen: "My problems? My problems? This is all our 'problem'. You're like my sister and you're not even gonna say 'get well soon'?"

Lily: "Get well soon. Eurgh, Carmen you're so selfish! It's all look at me! I'm so pretty and cool! Oh no, I've broken my arm and leg! Oh boohoo, poor me! Me, me, me!"

Carmen: "Me selfish? I'm not the selfish one, running off to her family at the slightest sign of trouble and leaving her friends, who, may I add, have always been there for her, to pick up the pieces!"

Lily: "Slight sign of trouble? I think a bomb is a pretty big bit of trouble."

Carmen: "My point is, are you staying and supporting your friends and helping them get through a rough time, just like we did for you, or are you going, running off to your daddy like the selfish little coward you are?!"

Lily: "I'm going and I'm never coming back! I'm going to wipe the Dumping Ground out of my life and everyone in it! Goodbye!"

And with that she had stormed out the door. Carmen had realised what had happened and spent a week moping and everyone else was shocked, disgusted and amused that such a horrible arguement had gone on between two 'best friends'. But it was small news now compared to what was going on with Johnny. Tiny.

 **Authors Note: Sorry I haven't updated in ages. I've just had a rough time recently and I got a bit of writers block, plus school and massive piles homework, so I've been a bit delayed. I know this is a filler chapter but I quite enjoyed writing the Carmen/Lily arguement. I have a poll that needs answering on my profile, so please go and vote!**


	14. 13: Old Friends

**13: Old Friends**

There was a loud knock at the door.

"Coming!" May-Li called, but the knocking continued, getting louder and louder. May-Li huffed in frustration.

"Patient, aren't you?" She muttered sarcastically. She opened the door. A tall, skinny boy was shoved inside and he fell against the wall. The people who shoved him turned and walked off without a word. May-Li's mouth fell open as she turned to look at the boy against the wall. He looked a bit battered and bruised, tired and there was an undeniable guilt and sadness in his eyes. She knew even before she saw him; it was Johnny.

The loud knocking had drawn attention and a lot of the kids had turned up to have a look. They stared at Johnny, knowing who he was, but not. Something about him was different.

"Johnny?" Tee whispered. He looked up from the floor and gave a smile that didn't even come close to reaching his eyes.

"I can't stay long," was all he said. Not 'I missed you' or 'are you ok' Tee felt anger boil inside her.

"What! What do you mean, 'you can't stay long'?!" Tee said loudly, almost angrily. Johnny just opened his mouth and closed it again.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, almost inaudible. He sounded like he was about to cry. Tee's voice softened.

"How long?" He shrugged.

"Hours, days, I don't know, they didn't say, but not long." Tee was confused at this. Who was 'they'?

"Why can't you stay?" She said, ignoring the questions racing round her brain.

"I killed him, Tee. Use your brain." The words came out harsh. They stung. She looked to his eyes for comfort, hoping they would apologise, they were cold. Two thoughts came to mind at his words. Either he couldn't stay because he had to face some punishment or... he was going to punish himself. The others seemed to be thinking along the same lines. He looked to the floor again and when he looked back up the stony coldness was gone from his eyes. It was like he was split into two different people. He was stuck, trapped in his guilt and he didn't know who to be.

"Be you, Johnny, be you." Tee whispered under her breath. No one heard.

For the remainder of the day, Johnny was quiet and sullen. He didn't smile at all. Tee felt herself getting inexplicably frustrated. Her frustration soon turned to annoyance and bubbled into anger.

"What's wrong with you?!"

Johnny looked a bit taken a back but gave a small empty laugh. Tee glared daggers at him.

"Everything," he replied and he looked almost as angry at Tee. Tee sighed, this wasn't worth an argument with her brother. She felt her anger ebb away. Tee was almost disgusted with her brother. He was giving up too easily. He was just letting the guilt eat him up.

"Why aren't you fighting? Why have you given up?" She asked, all anger gone from her voice. Johnny sighed.

"What's the point, Tee? So much bad stuff has happened, stuff that will never go away and will never stop haunting me. What's the point in fighting if the world is just gonna keep throwing bad stuff right back at you?" He glared at her and left the room. Awkward silence. Tee sat down heavily on the sofa and buried her head in her hands. She needed to take a step back and be away from it all. To forget about everything that had happened just for five minutes. Easier said than done.

The next day, there was another set of rapid loud knocking on the door. Tee got there in time to open it. She froze and stared at the man in front of her. Her mouth opened slightly. She knew this guy, but she didn't. He looked familiar but she couldn't think why. She was so busy trying to work it out, that she forgot he was there.

"Well, are you going to let me in then?" He said, rather rudely. Wordlessly, Tee took a few steps back and let him enter. Mike walked over just then.

"Excuse me, who are you?" He asked, polite and confused. He saw Tee's face and became even more puzzled. Carmen walked down the stairs and stared. Soon a small crowd had gathered.

"Look at that, I've got an audience." The man stated to no one in particular. He chuckled, but there was no amusement in his voice. Johnny was last to arrive.

"Wha-" he stopped and froze. What he did next just confirmed Tee's suspicion. He gave the man a long stare and tilted his head from side to side, with a look of puzzlement in his eyes. He recognised this man. His mouth fell open and he gave a small sigh of disbelief.

"Dad?"

 **A/N:**

 **Sorry it's short guys, I didn't really know what to write. Hope you like it. I'll have the next chapter up ASAP.**

 **Please review**

 **:-)**


	15. 14: Blood Ties

**14: Blood Ties**

Johnny gaped at his father. He was surprised, oh yes, and that was an understatement. But what he really felt towards his father was anger. Bubbling and boiling away. Most of the others would be glad to see their father. But Johnny wasn't most. His father had been a terrible father. Alright, not as bad as Keith had been, but almost, because Keith could be referred to as "mum's boyfriend" but his dad, was his dad. And besides, _how dare_ he just turn up after thirteen years without a sound? _How dare_ he show up pretending nothing had happened when he had left them? He had left them for another woman and Lucy Taylor had to leave her job to look after the Johnny and Tee, who were just two and four, and then disaster had struck and Lucy could no longer afford the rent and the three of them had moved into a bedsit in a dodgy neighbourhood. But they had been kicked out after someone else offered to pay more for it and Lucy, unable to afford anyway ended up on the streets with her two little kids, for no less than three months, during which Tee had turned three. And then of course Keith had happened. They had moved in with him just six weeks after his mum had met him, on Johnny's fifth birthday. Johnny at the time had thought it was a great birthday present, until the abuse started. Ironically just the day after they moved in. And it was all his father's fault. Johnny remembered phoning his dad after living a few weeks at Keith's. He had begged him to come back and to help him, but as soon as his dad realised who it was, he hung up. He had never come, until now.

Johnny had lost all love for his father many years ago. He was so angry he wanted to shout or to hit him. Surprisingly it was Tee who reacted first.

"You're my _dad_?" She asked incredulously. Then with what seemed like a random burst of anger:

"Yeah, the father I never knew. Great. I don't know why you're here, but if you think we're going to play happy families you're thirteen years too late." Johnny could see she meant it.

"I just want to know you. You _are_ my children."

"That can't be helped," Johnny shot back. "But you're not our dad. You're a stranger we used to know. A father who left us with _nothing_. I don't remember you wanting to know us before. I suppose now I'm all over TV you suddenly _remembered_ you had children?" His father opened his mouth wordlessly. Obviously struck dumb by this latest outburst. Johnny suddenly felt faint and dizzy, it was no surprise, it had happened a lot recently. What was worse was what came next. Worse still was what it meant.

Johnny turned away and stalked upstairs. He pretended to look angry; so it would look like he couldn't stand being with his father. He _couldn't_ stand being with his father. But instead of going to his room he walked into the bathroom as the coughing began.

Johnny turned the tap on and washed out the sink. The water turned a pale pink. He wiped a bit of blood from his mouth and stood up straight, taking deep, shakey breaths. He knew he couldn't keep the coughing blood secret from the others forever. He didn't have forever. But if he did tell them he would have to tell them what it meant. And if he told them what it would meant there would be tears and fuss and he couldn't stand that because it would only make him cry too. He needed to look brave for Tee's sake. But soon it would catch him out and he'd end up with them all seeing. He knew he would have to tell them soon. But not today, there was too much going on.


	16. 15: Secrets Revealed

**15: Secrets Revealed**

Johnny breathed in deeply. After the whole fiasco yesterday with his dad (who had eventually been sent away after he and Tee had a shouting match and Mike threatened to call the police) Johnny had realised that things you try to keep out of your thoughts often having a way of turning into something big and bad. And this thing was already big and bad and needed no help there. He had to face it; the coughing was getting worse and more frequent and the dizzy spells were so bad now he actually fainted (though luckily sitting down and only for a few seconds). The truth was he was running out of time; fast.

The last thing he wanted to do was tell Tee but he had to. That's what he was preparing himself for. But of course he would never truly be ready to tell them what he was going to tell them. Never. He breathed deeply again, his heart hammering, hands shaking. As calmly as he could he forced himself into the living room where everyone was waiting for him. Trying to keep his voice steady and his face straight. He swallowed deeply.

"I've known for a while now that even before fight before Luke's death I was badly injured. And yes I know you know that, but there was another injury, something you can't see and can't be fixed. I don't know exactly what it is, but it's caused internal bleeding." He stared at the floor unable to look at them, unwilling to see their reactions. He didn't want to be the one telling them this; he would rather anyone else but him.

"The past few days I've been coughing blood, feeling faint, dizzy. It's been getting worse each time. And it won't get better, in fact it'll keep getting worse and worse and-" his voice broke then and he felt hot salty tears stinging his eyes. He gulped, barely able to choke out the next words. He couldn't say, it he couldn't- he wouldn't say the word. But he knew he had to. Because it was the truth they deserved. Tears rolled down his cheeks. But he didn't care anymore if people thought he was weak or pathetic. They didn't matter. He gulped again.

"I'm dying." He said quickly before he lost all courage.

"I probably only have a few days left." The room was deadly silent. Then Tee choked out: "Why didn't you say until now?"

"I was scared. Scared that if I said it it would become truer somehow."

The crying was making him choke; he had to stop crying before the coughing came-too late. He coughed so hard it felt like his throat was burning. It was much much worse than ever before. He tasted the coppery tinge of blood in his mouth and found it was full of it; it was even trickling down his chin like a mini crimson waterfall. The dizziness came in such waves that the room span and Johnny couldn't focus on anything. Somewhere far away he heard Mike's voice and he realised with panic he was going to pass out and it could very well be the last time he closed his eyes.

 **A/N Sorry for anyone who hates cliff-hangers as big as this and I don't want anyone to kill me if Johnny dies, so please complain all you want and post nasty reviews, it's my story and I can do what I want with it. Too bad if you don't like it. THIS IS NOT THE LAST CHAPTER there will be at least one more, maybe two. Thanks for reading and please review! (Good or bad)**


	17. Note

Hey guys, sorry for the long long wait, and I am writing the next chapter now, so you shouldn't have to wait much longer.


	18. 16: The End

**16: The End**

Johnny woke to familiar faces breathing in a relieved sigh. It all seemed out of focus; fuzzy around the edges and the voices sounded like they came from far away. He felt light and foggy, as if he was floating, half asleep. He realised the voices were talking to him, but everything seemed to be in slow motion and he couldn't make out what they were saying. He just wanted to close his eyes and go back to sleep again. Suddenly, he felt a bit more awake and gazed blearily at the face closest to him. Tee. He looked into her eyes; trying to tell her everything without words, that he loved her, that he wanted her to stay safe, to live, to live and laugh and smile and love, and all the things he could never do again. Even if she had to do them without him. He was sorry, so sorry to leave her, he didn't want to go, but the end was coming and they all knew it. He forced a smile and the urge to close his eyes overwhelmed him. Her face was the last thing he ever saw.

In the weeks after Johnny's death, Tee kept herself in her room. She refused to leave even for meals. Her mother came to see her many times and came to the funeral with Hope, too young to understand that she had lost her brother she barely even knew, who she would never really know. Cathy came to the funeral too; the girl who had lost everything. She had lost her parents at six and her sister at ten, then her boyfriend, her home and the only friend she had left. Mike offered her to stay at Ashdene Ridge. But she had refused and preceded to tell them she was sick and tired of losing all the things she cared about and that she wanted an end to it all. Tee agreed secretly, in her room which was now a prison she felt she couldn't leave. It was easier, far easier than being with them all, with tears of their own. She felt like a problem. She felt broken. Tee supposed this was what Johnny had felt like before he died; all that suffering and for what? So he could die? It was just so _unfair_. She hated the world or God or Luke or whoever, she hated them for everything thing that had happened, everything in her whole life. She half wished she'd never been born and therefore never had suffered so much pain. So much _pain_. Tee hugged her knees and slid into the corner of her room. She rocked back and forth on the floor, sobbing into her knees, scratching herself. Why?! Just why?! It was weeks after Johnny's death, but it still hurt, it hurt so much. And she was tired of suffering. She stopped sobbing, out of tears for now but not forever.

Mike came and tried to drag her down to dinner but she couldn't, wouldn't. After dinner Carmen came in. Carmen had been coming in a lot recently. She didn't say much usually but just sat with an arm around Tee. But today was different.

"Tee, you can't keep ignoring us. I know it hurts, it hurts so much, but you have to come back to us. Johnny wouldn't want this."

"It doesn't matter what he wanted, he's gone!" Tee burst into tears.

"Tee! Of _course_ it matters! He was your brother for Gods sake! Don't waste your life because he never got to live his properly, live for him! You're being so selfish! If you die I can't cope, I can't lose another best friend so just stop! There are other people, lots of people, who are so worried about you, because they care about you, they love you, Tee. Don't you get it? We need you, ok? Your mum needs you, Hope needs you, heck even Ryan needs you and he _hates_ you! Please, just come back!" And then Carmen burst into tears too. And both girls where sobbing into each other. Crying their hearts out and laughing at the same time.

"Ok," choked Tee, "ok, I'll deal with it, I'll come back."

 _One year later..._

Tee stood in her flat and glanced in the mirror. She looked nice enough. A knee-length flowery dress, high boots, a denim jacket and a red-jewel necklace on a silver chain. Her dark blonde hair was in a plait over her shoulder. She smiled and grabbed her handbag. After a short bus ride or two she arrived at the place she had once called home. Ashdene Ridge. It was wonderful and horrible to be back in the place where so many memories, good and bad had taken place, and best of all. She'd get to see her old friends again. All of them. She walked in the door and was greeted by Faith, Rick, Frank, Liam, Kazima, Ryan, Bailey and all those who hadn't left yet, like Mo, Finn, Harry and the twins. Mike and May-Li were they're too and best of all; Carmen. He was there too, in a way, all the laughs and jokes and fights were still there in memories brought back. But for the first time these memories made Tee happy, not wishful and sad. Today was a day where nothing could make her sad. Later, years later, she would still remember it as the happiest day of her life.

 **A/N:**

 **I'd like to say a big thanks to all my readers. Especially for enduring that long wait between last chapter and this. Also a massive thank you to all my reviewers, good or bad. If you have any questions feel free to PM me. This is the end of this story guys but I'll probably write more. If there is anything in particular you'd like me to write about, again PM me. Please review even though this is the last chapter, sorry it's short! But I think it sums it up nicely, let me know what you think in reviews.**

 **Bye!**


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